I suppose this could be considered a continuation of my last post on New Year's Resolutions, but while that post focused on the change process, today I want to focus on what, specifically, our culture suggests we try to change as we turn over a "new leaf" for the New Year.
We all get the idea: We're not ok the way we are, and if we're not working to change and improve...something...there's even more wrong with us.
I don't know about you, but I spend a lot of time trying to help my clients to feel better about themselves for who they are, the way they are. Sure, therapy is about change...but often about changing all the problems that have arisen from the client's belief that she or he is not ok, but inadequate, flawed, worthless, ugly, a misfit...etc. Indeed, one of the dialects in DBT is acceptance and change. The premise is that, while a sole focus on acceptance negates change, focusing on change without acceptance of oneself/the client the way one/she or he is can be demoralizing and interfere with change. Conversely, accepting oneself paradoxically makes it easier and less threatening to work toward change.
So, instead of a "new you" this year, considering trying out a new attitude toward the "same old" you. You may be surprised by the results!